The Worst Gay Jokes You’ll Ever Read

Now, these are just darn funny. And maybe slightly NSFW. You’ve been warned! Thanks to the knee-slapping people over at Jokes4Us, we discovered a plethora of gay jokes that made us laugh, cringe, and roll our eyes. Hard.

But, it’s April Fool’s Day, so go on – have a good chuckle:

Q: How do 5 gay men walk?

One Direction

Q: What do you call a gay drive by?

A fruit roll up.

Q: Why can’t gays drive faster than 68mph?

Because at 69 they blow a rod.

Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?

A Jolly Rancher

Q: Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?

Because they can only mandate.

Q: How do you fit three homosexuals on one barstool?

Turn it upside-down

Q: What do you call a homosexual dentist?

Tooth fairy

Q: Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?

He was playing with too many strokes.

Q: Why is Katie Holmes divorcing Tom Cruise?

Apparently, he’s been in A Few Good Men.

Q: What comes after 69 for gay men?

Mouthwash.

Q: What did one gay sperm say to another?

How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

Q: What do you call an annoying gay man?

A pain in the arse.

Q. Hear about the new gay sitcom?

“Leave it, it’s Beaver.”

Q: Whats a homos favorite planet?

Uranus

Q: What do you call a gay boxer?

Fruit Punch!

Q: What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?

Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there.

Q: What do you call a gay Ginger?

Flaming.

Q: How do you know you’re a homosexual?

When you make Justin Bieber look straight.

Q. Did you hear about the gay rabbit?

He found a hare up his ass.

Q: What do you call a bouncer in a gay bar?

Flame thrower.

Q: What do you call a 5-Man gay mariachi band?

Juan Direction

Q: What do you get when you cross an Eskimo and a gay guy?

A snowblower.

Q. How can you tell if a novel is homosexual?

The hero always gets his man in the end.

Q. How can you tell if a Western is gay?

All the good guys are hung.

Q: How does a gay guy fake an orgasm?

He spits on his back.

Q: How do you say homosexual in Jewish?

A heblew.

Q: What will the first gay Transformer turn into?

A Prius.

Q: What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar?

Do you mind if I push in your stool?

Q: What do you call a phone that gay men can’t use?

A Homophone.

Q: What is Gay Pride?

A group of homosexual lions.

Q: Did you hear about the gay vegetarian?

He still eats meat.

Q: Why don’t gays shop at Sports Authority?

Because they prefer Dick’s.

Q: What does a homo say to another gay going on vacation?

Can I help you pack your shit?

Q: Did you hear about the homosexual electron?

Went around blowing fuses.

Q: Why is Fred Flinstone a closet homosexual?

He has a gay old time

Q: Did you hear about the homosexual letter?

Only came in male boxes.

Q: Why don’t blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?

Cause their balls show

Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

Q. Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?

They tried each other.

Q. Did you know 75% of the gay population were born that way?

The other 25% were sucked into it.

Q: What do you call a gay Jamaican guy?

Pokemon

Q: What do doctors prescribe for a sore asshole?

Bengay.

Q: What do gay men call hemorrhoids?

Speed bumps.

Q: What do you call two gay Irish men?

Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

Q: Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?

They went outside to exchange blows.

Q: What does a gay horse eat?

HAAAAYYYYYYY.

Q. Did you hear about the gay truckers?

They exchanged loads.

Q: What’s the difference between a hobo and a homo?

A hobo doesn’t have any friends, but a homo has friends up the ass

Q. What’s the biggest crime committed by transvestites?

Male fraud.

Q: What do you call a gay Chinese man?

Chui mi Wang

Q: Why was the gay embarrassed when he was caught blowing the well-hung black boy?

Because he was caught with a foot in his mouth.

Q: What do you call a gay insect with wings?

A fruit fly

Q: What’s the motto of the Greek army?

Never leave your buddy’s behind.

Q: Hear about the gay royal Canadian mounted cop?

He got so excited his first day on the Job he jumped on his whistle and blew his horse.

Q: What do you call a gay in a wheelchair?

A fruit roll-up.

Q: Why did the gay guy go straight?

There were too many dicks

Q: Did you hear about the 2 gays that got into a fight in a bar?

They were ejected for exchanging blows.

Q: What do you call a gay scientist?

A homo-geneous.

Q: What do you call a gay midget?

A lowblow

Q: What do you call a gay couple?

TOGAYTHER.

Q: Two gay guys were having sex when they both die at the same time. Who goes to heaven first?

The one who had his shit packed.

Q: What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?

A fruit stand.

Q: What did the gay rooster say?ANYCOCKWILLDOO!

ANYCOCKWILLDOO!

Q: How do gay gangsters do a drive by?

They throw skittles at you and say “Taste the rainbow, bitches!”

Q: How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One… But it takes half the ER staff to get it out!

Me: I know a gay guy that sounds like an owl.

Friend: Who?
Got any of your own? LOL

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Local Jewelry Store Has a Lot to be Thankful for

Local Jewelry Store Has a Lot to be Thankful for

Local Jewelry Store Has a Lot to be Thankful for

Nelson Estate Jewelers is nestled right in the heart of Dobson Ranch in Mesa, Arizona. They specialize in unique custom designs, true vintage and antique pieces, and they have a wonderful jeweler on site for expert jewelry repair services. They also buy from the public, meaning you can bring your old unworn jewelry pieces or inherited coin sets and sell them for quick cash or use them in trade toward new treasures!

The Journey

Owners David Nelson and his wife Aubrey sold all their assets (including 2 rental properties and a personal stash of gold and silver bullion) to give Nelson Estate Jewelers a running start back in 2017. David Nelson has been in the jewelry industry since he was just 15 years old and has worked for many of the big-name jewelers such as Ganem, Zales, Jared the Galleria of Jewelry, and E.D. Marshall Jewelers. David and Aubrey identified the need for an expert jeweler in their local community and recognized that the old way of doing things is antiquated. They set out to create a comfortable and friendly atmosphere with realistic and transparent pricing that respects every client looking to either treat themselves to fine jewelry or express their love to someone special with a one-of-a-kind engagement ring.

Many people in the community stood behind David & Aubrey, some even got their hands dirty and assisted with the actual buildout of the shop to support what Nelson Estate Jewelers was striving to become. Local artists Daron Rogers and Angel Rogers Photography proudly display their art pieces in the showroom. Nelson Estate Jewelers loves to display local art pieces as a small way to give back to the community. They also only charge $5 for watch batteries and donate the proceeds to United Food Bank!

Jewelry Experts

Currently, Nelson Estate Jewelers sells an average of 15 engagement rings per month, whether it be a stunning find in the case, a true period piece from the 1920’s, or a creative custom design built from scratch. David & Aubrey are so thankful to be a part of the special moments in their clients’ lives; engagements, weddings, anniversaries, and even birthdays and graduations. Since jewelry is all about self-expression and no two people are exactly alike, Nelson Estate Jewelers offers incredibly unique pieces as well as the ability to custom design any jewelry piece specific to the person wearing it.

Love for the Community

Nelson Estate Jewelers values its clients above all else; each client is seen, heard, and treated with respect. Rather than hard sales pitches, David & Aubrey focus on listening to needs. They work within specific budgets without sacrificing quality because they believe you shouldn’t have to break the bank to show someone how you feel. Building trust and friendships in their local community is far more important to them than playing insulting price games that you often find at big chain retail stores. The bottom line is that none of what Nelson Estate Jewelers has become would have been possible without the friends, family, and clients who stood behind them then and who continue to support them today.

For more information on Nelson Estate Jewelers visit www.nelsonestatejewelers.com

11 Lesbians In History You Don’t Know But Should

11 Lesbians In History You Don’t Know But Should

11 Lesbians In History You Don’t Know But Should

A few years ago, Huffington Post put together an amazing list of 11 Lesbians In History You Don’t Know But Should. In honor of International Women Day, we highlight those amazing women and give them thanks for their courage and contributions to our community.

When we think of our lesbian pioneers, women like Ellen DeGeneres and Billie Jean King presumably come to mind. But we at The Huffington Post wanted to teach you a little somethin’ somethin’ about your history in honor of October’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) history month. Below, feast your eyes on a group of undaunted ladies who helped paved the way for women and their women-loving ways, and check out the video above for HuffPost Live’s full conversation on lesbian history from the ancient times to now.

Read the full story here!